Instagram Etiquette

Like most iPhone owners, I was a little saddened when Instagram began supporting Android users. Instagram used to be my favorite app (before it won App of the Year). I even know of a few people who decided to get an iPhone just to use Instagram.

Now, I see thousand of status, tweets, and a mixture of the two from iPhone lovers showing their disdain for the tech-ghetto Android folks.

      My timeline doesn’t automatically refresh since Android got the gram-gram

 

      I ain’t seen a connection problem like this since Android took over IG

 

      (my favorite) Do these Android bums even have filters for their app?!?!

 

    My app keep crashing, f*ck!

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I told myself I wouldn’t follow any new or Android user of Instagram, but then the + 1 friend notices starting to frequent and then I quickly began to hate Instagram. And the reason is – there should be some sort of policing that goes on in the Instagram world. There needs to be some rules set for what photos people post – NO MORE ON-THE-TOILET pics.

Here is a list of ‘Proper Instagram Etiquette’

1. If you like it, then like it.

  • Be social. That’s what the app is for. If you like sneakers, then follow sneakerheads. If you like kitties, then follow those #instacat people. Don’t be afraid to like other’s pics – unless you’re being creepy.

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2. Add some sort of filter. Unless its a nice pic without one.

  • Add some effects. What’s worst: a boring picture? Or a boring picture with some flare?

3. Captions are extra cool. Unless the pic speaks for itself!!

  • No one wants to decipher what the photograph is. plus, funny captions and tags will bring you more traffic – maybe a few likes.

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4. Don’t (hash)tag if it has nothing to do with the pic.

  • Hashing for likes and follows are for clowns! But we’d rather not see a photo of Michael Jordan playing baseball tagged: #Greatness. Maybe a hamburger under the tag #BootyBuns though.

5. If you would never take the time to take the picture- do not take the time to post to IG.

  • Pre-Instagram era – if you wouldn’t have taken the pic to post on Facebook or Twitter or even the stone age Flickr, then spare the people who follow you the pain.

6. Stop with those repost screenshots. #annoying

  • I get it. I get it. It’s a sort of RT (retweet), right? Do me a favor and save that. We might not follow that person for a reason. Just kindly ask them to send you the pic for your own posting. #ThanksInAdvance

7. No blurry zoomed in pics that look like they were taking from a thumbnail image from the iPhone Safari mode or the android equivalent.

  • Ain’t nothing worst than a blurry picture. Why even put it up?

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8. Do not ( I repeat) DO NOT clog up people’s feed with upload after upload after upload. For multiple pics try using a #picstitch app.

  • One pic of your kid is enough. ‘I use Grid Lens’ for multiple pics. No one likes to scroll through their timeline simply to see other’s pics. Be courteous or get unfollowed. #ForReal

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9. Ladies, please do not get dressed up in club attire to sit around your home to have a photoshoot just to post pics to IG.

  • You’ve done it before. Instagram is not a modeling agency. We get it – you’re cute! Be smart. Use your mind. Don’t send the wrong message.

10. Gentleman, no mirror pictures please!! Grab a lady friend to take the picture for you!

  • Ladies get the wrong idea. Guys will get the wrong idea. Unless that’s the right idea for you… I have a professional photographer for my pictures. If you can’t get one of those, improvise!

11. Kill the tweegrams. That’s for other media. We only care what you look like in the pictures.

  • Those tweetgrams and versegrams must GOOOO! IG is not twitter. It is not Facebook. Got something to say? Start a blog, fool! WordPress, Tumblr -there’s an app for that!

12. No paper plate food pictures unless it’s cookout food.
For all my foodies, if you eat filet mignon, do not post a pic with it on a paper plate. I’m all about being frugal, but show it cooking in the pan or something. It’s like having a Mercedes in your driveway that hasn’t functioned in years!!

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If you have other Instagram etiquette, feel free to leave a comment. Oh, and don’t forget to follow me @Mr_Hip. My pics don’t disappoint.

Deuces,
P-Viddy (LOL)

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